


The Palmetto State Foxes Rules

by Overherenow



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Barbie Girl, Bets, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Team Dynamics, Teambuilding, things you are no longer allowed to do on an Exy court
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 16:40:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16747672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Overherenow/pseuds/Overherenow
Summary: A summary of rules for all freshmen for the Palmetto State foxes Exy team.And some upperclassmen who might forget.





	The Palmetto State Foxes Rules

The Palmetto State Foxes Rules

By Danielle Wilds, with extras by Coach Wymack and anybody else who has a pen.

Welcome to the Palmetto State Foxes Exy team freshmen - and upperclassmen who need the reminder. To try and make things go a little more smoothly this year we have compiled a list of rules and advice to help you settle into the team without too much bloodshed. These rules are by no means all-encompassing and they will be changed and added to as required.

1\. Don’t piss off Andrew.   
(you will live longer)

2\. Seriously don’t piss him off. I know he looks small but he is mean and he will kill you. Neil might save you if he is feeling generous so stay on his good side.  
2a. Stay on Neil's good side?

3\. Neil is good at starting fights so it is tempting to start one with him. Don’t. It is a sure way to break Rules 1 and 2.

4\. Do try your hardest. Whatever qualified you to be a Fox the team is here to support you through anything. Just look at the line up of people we have already have on the team. We are a team of Ex-junkies and strippers. Many of have been abused physically, emotionally, mentally or sexually. We don’t care if you are a Kleptomaniac, a pathological liar, an orphan, if your bulimic or a runaway. You’re here for your one extra chance. We just want you to use it. (This should be rule one but the one about Andrew is more important.)

5\. If you need anything, a shoulder to cry on, a drink or some advice my door is always open.

6\. Once the money is in the pot for a bet it can not be retroactively changed, although you can bet against it in another pot.

7\. All bets must be paid once the outcome has been confirmed. 

8\. There is no such thing as too far when it comes to betting. Foxes bet on everything even if the rest of the world may find it distasteful.

9\. You are not qualified to bet in bets that are about you.

10\. Coach and Abbie are in love. We all know, they don’t know that we know. 

11\. Don’t mention The Ravens, Riko or the fact that he’s Coach's son to Kevin. He’s working through a lot of things.

12\. Don’t mention to Coach that Kevin is his son, He’s working through a lot of things.

13\. Be nice to Renee as she will definitely save you if you break rules 1 to 3.

14\. Don’t bring up other people's baggage. It's not nice. Also, we are not nice and they will bring up yours in retaliation.

15\. Andrew can be bribed with chocolate. Aaron can't.

16\. Aaron may be the nicer twin but that does not mean that he is nice. He is not.

17\. Nicky may no longer use his famous “Barbie girl dance” as his on-court celebrations. Off pitch he may, but only with written permission from the Captain or Coach. 

18\. Kevin may be a dick but don't wake him up by hitting him over the head repeatedly with a pillow. Throw things at him instead.

19\. Don't take the batteries out of Matt’s alarm clock (even if he pushes the snooze button like 1000 times.) 

20\. Woad is not part of the Foxes home or away kits.

21\. We do not play Exy games “naked the way God intended” either.

22\. Abbie is our team nurse and is not to be referred to as “Dr. Feelgood,” "Nurse Ratchet” or greeted with “Hello Nurse!” Coach will sign you up for a marathon.

23\. The purchasing card is not your "Sugar daddy" 

24\. Kevin is not “the Queen of your arse”, even if he is very annoying. 

25\. Crucifixes do not ward off Alison and it was wrong to try. 

26\. You are not allowed to mount a bayonet on the end of your racket. I don’t care if it was Andrews idea, knives are not allowed on the Exy court. And Yes Andrew we know about the ones in your arm guards.

26\. Nicky is not allowed to watch the Full Monty ever again. It gives him ideas.

27\. Calvin-ball is not part of our training regime. Kevin-Ball however is.

28\. You will not refer to the court as “the goldfish bowl” on account of all the plexiglass. It makes Kevin and Neil cry inside. 

29\. Coup d'état's are not effective against Coach. You will lose. Badly. 

30\. Your name is Nicky Hemmick, not Princess Nicky Sparkle Rainbow the VII.

31\. Katelyn is Aaron’s girlfriend. Do not ask her if she mistakes Aaron for Andrew. Please see rules 1-3 with the additional note that Aaron will call a truce with Andrew and help him kill you.  
31a. Vice versa for Andrew and Neil.

32\. Andrew and Neil are in love. No, we don’t know why either but they are happy and that's all that matters. See rules 1 to 3 if you disagree. 

33\. Do not taunt The Ravens. They have been through enough even if we don't like them.  
33a. Besides, that's Neil’s job.

34\. The Polka is not suitable music for Orange notes to play. Neither is Barbie girl, or anything by the Backstreet Boys.

35\. Don’t objectify the cheerleaders. They are here to support us. Also, those girls are terrifying, have you seen what they can do?

36\. Allison is not an Alien Reptile Queen and you should stop spreading that rumour. 

37\. Even if she’s encouraging it.

38\. You are not a Jedi and you can not but a mind trick on the referee. “This was not the foul you were looking for."

39\. Renee is sunshine, sugar and spice and all things nice. Don’t be mean to her. It will turn the team against you and she will only try to be your friend. 

40\. Andrew does not want your soul. Kevin might though as long as you are good at Exy.

41\. Matt is strong. Don’t challenge him to an arm-wrestling match. It will only end in tears and he will be insufferable for days. 

42\. Jeremy Knox is sunshine, sugar and spice and all things nice. That's all you need to know.

43\. Don’t call Neil “Nathaniel or Wesninski.” Just don’t it makes his face sad and that will make Matt sad and Andrew will get mad see Rules 1-3.

44\. Coach’s go-to punishment is marathons. To our knowledge, he has never actually made good on his threat. But I would not test that. 

45\. Betsy is the best go-to her if you need help. She makes good Hot Chocolate. 

46\. Dan and Matt have sex. We know, get over it. It's your own fault for walking in on them. 

47\. Nicky’s Erik is lovely. But they also have sex. We know, get over it. It's your own fault for walking in on them.

48\. Actually, rule 46 and 47 apply to all Foxes couples. We know, get over it. It’s your own fault for walking in on them. 

49\. Unless its a couple we didn't know about then we want to know so we can settle that bet. 

50\. Don’t go to Colombia if Andrew invites you. Ask Matt or Neil for further details.

51\. Don’t use Neil's press relation's techniques as a model for your own. he has an attitude problem. Follow Kevin’s Nice Celebrity! Persona instead. It is equally insufferable but much less likely to cause a riot.

52\. Always have a way for people to get in contact with you. I don’t care if it's tin cans on strings just make sure we can contact you if we need too. I’m looking at you, Neil.

53\. Don't call Wymack Dad. - Unless you are Kevin.

54\. No Shots of any kind are to be taken before or during team meetings. This includes all liquors, cocktails, spirits, beers, and wines. As well as Bullets, arrows, crossbow bolts, trebuchet or any other form of projectile weapon.

56\. "What's the worst that could happen?" or any similar phrase is band from team vocabulary.

57\. "Dan said it was ok" is not a good enough reason. Anymore.

58\. Andrew can not kill you just by looking at you and it was wrong for Matt to tell you this... Neil however can. =D 

60\. Blackmail is to be used against other teams only and not on your teammates. Even if they are very annoying.

61\. Neil is not allowed to drive the Bus.

62\. Nicky is not allowed to drive the Bus

63\. Andrew is DEFINITELY not allowed to drive the Bus.

64\. Your Racquet is not a lightsaber. Stop making the noises at practice it is making Kevin insufferable.  
64a. Even if it is funny.

65\. Despite what Neil claims, Hitchhiking is dangerous and should only be attempted is absolutely necessary.

66\. "For Science!" is not a valid excuse particularly if it involves either Minyard.

67\. After the "Waffle incident" Nicky is no longer allowed in Abby's kitchen. 

68\. “It is better to beg forgiveness than permission” no longer applies to the Palmetto state Foxes.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration of course taken from the Skippy List or 213 things that Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the US Army. Check it out its hilarious. Also see the Evil Overlord list that ones funny too. 
> 
> I hope you guys like it and if Ive made any mistakes let me know.


End file.
